My Heart
by Ai-no-Tora
Summary: In the end when Naraku is defeated, Inuyasha says goodbye...but to whom? Reflects on chars. thoughts/feelings. Another ending fic; one shot.


A/N: My sis asked me to do this, so I must ^_~ Some songs to listen to in order to have that angsty mood for rainy days, after breakups, lonely days, or just depressed days: Dearest, by Ayumi Hamasaki (full version); Every Heart, by BoA (fv); Waiting, by BoA; Feelings That Transcend Time II (Toki o Koeru Omoi) Inuyasha movie soundtrack; Any song from Secret Garden; My Will, by Dream (fv), and then some. Mostly you can download them as mp3s and such. Without music of angsty moods, this fic won't be as "effective," so I suggest you get some tunes, dudes! ^_~ \/ Enjoy!  
  
Summary: The end of the journey has finally come. What of Kagome's and Inuyasha's friendship? Inuyasha says goodbye...but to whom? It reflects on their thoughts, feelings and what they truly wish for in their hearts.  
  
MY HEART o n e ~ s h o t By Mia -::::- ::First person dialog; continuation:: ***** Near, far, wherever you are I believe the heart does go on Once more you open the door And you're here in my heart and My heart will go and on -Celine Dion, "My Heart Will Go On" *****  
  
::A Thousand Words Within One Kiss:: ~Kagome's Heart~  
  
It had been not even half a week and yet he still grumbled curses at me for leaving without his consent. I had explained several times to him that I wished to be with my family and to be able to attend school, which was my life before I ever met him in the first place. "I'm even with you more than I'm with my family, do you realize that?" I questioned moodily as I climbed out of the shaft of the well into his time. And for pity's sake, he didn't even offer a hand to aid me when indeed he always knew how heavy my traveling pack was. Now that I thought more about it he always carried my bag for me when he arrived to take me back. He seemed different somehow.  
  
Being the hanyou that he was, all he did was glare at me and turn his head in a huff, arms crossed indignantly as the light of the setting sun reflected off of his stark white hair. White hair so beautiful and long, graceful strands that I would run my fingers through when I rode on his back. "At least here you're more useful," he replied as he began to walk toward old lady Kaede's humble home. He was half-way right, we did retrieve all of the pieces of the Shikon jewel, all except one large shard that was in Naraku's possession in the moment. And then afterwards? After all that hard work and adventuring? I didn't want to start thinking about that all over again.  
  
"But back at home I'm even more needed. I have family there, friends, responsibilities . . ." I counted them off as I followed him. "Tests I need to make up, not to mention chores and dates." Oh dear. Did I say 'dates'? But with whom? It wasn't as if Hojo was ever really in my mind while we went on an outing of any kind. I quickly went on the defense to repair it. "I-I mean that I have a normal life back in my time, while here I'm always lead around whether or not I want to be."  
  
I saw his brow furrow when he turned sideways. "Dates?" He seemed to shake it off and turned away, light footsteps crunching against the sparse grass covering the earth. "And anyway you already have all you need here."  
  
That made me stop in my tracks and stare after his moving figure. "Not everything." I said beneath my breath. A soft breeze blew above the trees and gently swayed the fields around us. He'd stopped and turned around, his golden eyes meeting mine. Dreadful silence came between us. Of course he heard what I said. I didn't really expect him not to. Hastily I broke eye contact and put my head down, staring at the ground as I walked quickly to keep up with him. On the event that I was to pass him he had reached out like lightning and grabbed my hand, pulling me back almost jarringly though his grip was still gentle. In his hold, I had no choice but to look up into his face again and I saw something in his eyes that I've only seen as many times that I can count on one hand. He was so mysterious and handsome, and I wish I could tell him that. But I won't, I couldn't. Not after two years of trying to exclude any thought related to that sort of thing from my mind.  
  
It was as though my heart seemed to thump so hard against my chest that it almost hurt; I knew he could hear it, I always knew he could. "I know I can't give you everything you want," he whispered, his fingers squeezed my hand slightly as the intensity of his eyes grew. "But I can try to give you everything you need." What . . .? What was he saying? Why was he looking at me that way?  
  
"Inuyasha, I . . ."  
  
Before I could say another word, he released me and stepped back only to resume walking again as though nothing out of the ordinary occurred. What was it that he meant? I felt something in his words, like a hidden meaning buried deep inside. But I wanted to tell him as I watched his retreating back, that all I ever wanted from him was his heart.  
  
***  
  
"Hello, Shippou-chan!"  
  
"Kagome!" The infant fox-demon scurried up onto my shoulder and nuzzled my cheek. "How was your small vacation away from us? I know you missed me a lot, right?" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Inuyasha staring almost if not wistfully at us.  
  
"Hai, hai, I did miss you a lot. What have you been up to in the five days I've been gone?" Shippou momentarily flashed me a smile and reached inside his small vest to retrieve something.  
  
"I went exploring with Kirara just the other day in the woods," He bubbled joyfully, content in my arms that he nestled himself into. "And I found this for you." A flash of something shiny caught my eye. He handed it to me in my palm and I gazed down at a smooth piece of jade rock.  
  
"Why, arigatou Shippou-chan! It's very pretty," I cooed, happy that at least he would always be glad to see me. If only I knew what went through Inuyasha's head, perhaps I wouldn't be so judgmental over what he does. I know he can't always miss me like Shippou, much less greet me in much the same fashion. That helped my mood even more, mentally picturing the dog demon jumping into my arms, laughter escaping from my throat and Shippou took that as a sign of my thankfulness and giggled along with me too.  
  
In my arms . . .  
  
My laughter died down as soon as I speculated that concept and then all of a sudden I didn't feel as enthusiastic about it as before, especially when I met Inuyasha's eyes in one split second before Sango blocked my view to greet me.  
  
***  
  
Even though I know he couldn't even give me his love nor his heart, I still hope even though all is hopeless. We came from different yet similar worlds, opposite times, and therefore we belong in separate worlds, in another time. How important he's become to me I've realized lately; sure he protects me and I'm grateful for every moment he's been there to comfort me rarely that may be.  
  
But he's the one that's ever held my heart in his hands.  
  
I have always counted on him, and him me. I search for the shards mainly because of him, that I want to fulfill his dream of becoming what he desires... At least that's the impression I received ever since I heard the story from way back when with Kikyou and the whole incident with Naraku.  
  
Even when he says that he no longer feels the same way for the deceased priestess I still harbor something in my heart that contains jealousy, bitterness, regret and remorse. I do remember the first time I recognized that feeling and at first it puzzled me and later amazed me that I could feel such a thing. I am still inexperienced with that sort of thing after all, unfortunately. Sango told me once that when you feel that way and hardly notice it and yet it grows stronger and stronger, she says that's pure love and the victim is practically powerless to stop it. I guess that made a bit of sense to me.  
  
When, not long ago when we were attacked by a taiyoukai named Menoumaru and his two soldiers Ruri and Hari, was when I really began to be introduced into the many cropped feelings of my heart. The moment I heard his voice emanating from somewhere around me by the Goshinboku, or maybe when I heard him whisper my name just before the arrow I shot had hit its target, or when I supposedly felt the warmth of his arms surround me and receiving what he felt in his mind back in the coldness of my world--- was when I was beginning to just understand what holding those you love close actually meant.  
  
And when I was pleading with him in a moment that the control over me was growing lax to run away before I could hurt him any further, he wouldn't. Just as the time when Tsubaki had control over me did he never once leave me. But why does he continue to run to Kikyou once he spots her shinidamachuu, to leave me or the others behind? Why must it continue this way when I am working on admitting to myself that it's more than close friendship that I feel for him, he either makes it rather difficult or hides that anything is going on between us at all. Perhaps it's one-sided . . . Maybe it's just me, growing lonelier as my friends all of a sudden grow closer with other boys. Perhaps it's inevitable that it should stay this way. What a horrible curse for someone, when you dream about the person you love and yet you can never have them.  
  
Though why do I feel this way for Inuyasha? I've often pondered at times and now more than ever as later on that evening when we laid back on barely damp grass on a slightly curved hill on the night he turned human, and we watched the stars and I questioned him on the constellations just to fill in the awkward silence gaps. Miroku and the others were with Kaede discussing needed armor and potions, and Sango had hinted to me that she would try to let the rest of the group to ourselves---which I had no idea what she meant by the favor.  
  
I blushed unknowingly thinking of it and I was thankful that Inuyasha's youkai blood had receded; he would have seen it with the keen eyesight he has when he was a hanyou. Speaking of Inuyasha, he noticed my half hidden smiles when he looked sideways at me, spread out on the ground very near and I didn't think he took notice to it, otherwise he probably would have moved away.  
  
"Why the smirk?" He had said softly, looking at me while I stayed transfixed on the beautiful expanse of the night-sky. Stars winked at me and I hoped I would be able to spot a shooting star; I had a lot of wishes to fulfill.  
  
"It isn't a smirk, Inuyasha," I replied, causing my smile to widen. "I'm smiling."  
  
A puzzled frown overcame his expression. "What for?"  
  
That's a relatively easy question, and I told him so. "That's easy ... Because you're here with me."  
  
"And that makes you happy?" Wasn't it obvious?  
  
"Yes . . . It most certainly does." My voice grew as quiet as a whisper. "I smile because I like being here with you." And it surprised me the most when I saw that faraway hint in his eyes when I turned to him.  
  
He bit his lip unconsciously and brought up a hand to finger some grass stalks by his arm, focusing on it. "If you enjoy my company so much than why leave?" I could ask the same to him but I didn't.  
  
"I've a life on the other side. I can't simply pick up and leave anytime I wish, you know." Surely he knew of it. I stared intently at him. "Try to visualize yourself in my shoes; would you pick up and leave your family for another different world entirely?"  
  
"It isn't really a different world."  
  
I shook my head. "Right okay, a different time then but I think you know what I mean. All in all, things are still different, there aren't as many youkai, are there? I mean, besides the Noh Mask with the kakera in it. It's a more dangerous world here and Naraku has certainly proved that, and back in my world the Shikon no Tama is made into a key-chain for profit to sell to tourists and visitors to the shrine. How dangerous could that possibly be, especially when Jii-chan is selling them? Not much harm, I can assure you." It was quiet for a long moment before he spoke up again.  
  
"I would."  
  
"You would what?" I had forgotten what I said.  
  
His dark blue eyes gazed sorrowfully into mine, his fingers brushing against my upper arm and I almost shivered at the contact. Why was he having this effect on me? "I would leave my family if I were you---at least for a little while, so you could be with the Inuyasha in the other time."  
  
Eh? My lips trembled slightly and I quickly averted my focus to the stars overhead, hoping he didn't notice anything. What exactly did he mean? And why the sudden openness all of a sudden? "You would, would you. Why would you go to the Inuyasha in the other time just to be hounded and picked on for a couple years?"  
  
He suddenly took up the defense and leant on his elbow, looking crookedly down at me. "I don't hound or pick on you." I giggled out loud and closed my eyes; sometimes he was so adorable when he lied. "Wench, I don't hound or pick on you!" He replied with a more enthused tone in his voice.  
  
I peeked open an eye and stuck my tongue out at him, catching the ruffled expression in his shadowed face. "Liar. You're also a nasty name-caller, too, dog-boy." I burst into another fit of giggles when he finally snorted and started attacking my sides, tickling me much to my surprise. "Inuyasha! S-Stop---!" I pushed against his chest but his weight kept bearing down on me, plus the tickle-attack was making me weak all over. He did stop when I accidentally bumped his temple with my elbow, causing him to groan and fall onto his back on the grass. I blinked for a second staring at the stars overhead, then bolted to his side and leaned over him, holding his face gingerly in my hands. "Oh Gods, Inuyasha . . . I'm sorry, I didn't really mean to hit you---" I rearranged my position so I sat on my legs, my knees pressing against his ribs.  
  
His voice was quiet, almost embarrassed. "Feh . . . I'm fine, I just . . . bit my cheek hard." I paused and looked back down at him then finally breaking into a smile, then a full-on set of laughs. An eyebrow raised, he stared inquiringly at me as I gradually quieted down.  
  
Running my hand through my hair, I went back to his face and set a hand to his jaw and sighed. "All right then," I said in a commanding tone when he flinched at the sudden movement. "Open up." He had the expression as though he was going to pull away, muttering, "Stupid wench . . ." Then one that was questioning as he finally spread his lips apart and opened his mouth the slightest bit. I peered inside and saw what I was searching for despite the night's dark cloak. "Aah . . . You should be glad you didn't bite your tongue instead, it hurts even more." I informed him. His wound was bleeding and it was near to the opening of his mouth, so I carefully reached my thumb in and rubbed at the soft, slick flesh using my index finger on the external part of his cheek and pressed (or more like pinched). I glanced at Inuyasha's eyes and saw that they had widened, the retina (iris?) receding a bit.  
  
I knew it was a bold move but I swear, I was only trying to help him . . . really. Inuyasha coughed quietly, my thumb brushing against his teeth when his lips closed around my appendage. It would have been an amusing moment if I wasn't trying to concentrate so much. I continued rubbing to make sure the bleeding would stop but didn't succeed in staying focused as I had hoped and I began to notice how wonderful he smelled.  
  
Oh yes, he smelled wonderful all right . . . A deep dark male scent that I often smelled in his haori whenever I got close enough. The imprint of the forest trees and the surrounding nature beyond. Of sweat and hard working labor from a youkai fight. Of bark and earth. Of river water he often washed off in. Of Inuyasha, through and through. He just felt and smelled of everything I truly wanted to come home to.  
  
I gazed down and all of a sudden the thudding of my heart became greatly increased when I met his eyes. I swallowed a gasp when his lips locked around my thumb, feeling the slight brush of his warm tongue against my skin and succeeding in creating an enticing sensation that shot bolts of lightning through my arm and the rest of me. His hand came up to rest against my shoulder and I wondered for a moment when in one motion he pushed me firmly from him--- only to have me lying on my back. His shadowed figure hovered over me and I felt his hand grip my wrist, nearly losing all mental thought when I felt the slight pull of his mouth on my thumb.  
  
"I-Inuyasha . . ." I stammered, feeling as he pressed between my legs. My thumb came from his mouth and he leaned down, his warm breath whispery against my lips as he held my wrist. I shivered unconsciously as the night air exposed the moist skin of my thumb. What was he doing? It was what I last was thinking of.  
  
"Kagome," he finally responded, bringing his cheek against mine and he breathed against my ear and hair, bringing about another set of shivers. "For two years I've burned all my bridges for you. For you, Kagome . . ." He nuzzled against the sensitive area just below my ear and I wriggled for a moment, suddenly aware of what he was doing. Burned all my bridges . . . What exactly did he mean by that?  
  
And if he indeed was attempting to try what I've fantasized for so long, what I've yearned for every time he looked at me from afar, what my dreams were built from . . . I wasn't about to stop him. Was it lust or love that I saw in his eyes, and he seemed to notice the questions swimming in my facial expression when he leaned back. I could hardly hear him but I made out what he whispered in the night breeze that swept against his hair as his eyes darkened. "You own my heart, Kagome."  
  
I swallowed and closed my eyes. You own my heart. How badly have I thirsted for those words. But wait . . . There was the subject that often nagged at me often enough. I had to say something, I couldn't just let it hang and for me to regret it later. I opened my eyes and looked hard into his. Gods, how I wanted this to last but it's me, the Kagome who always has to have second thoughts; I only knew I wasn't getting any younger. "But what about . . . What about . . ." I was having a hard time controlling my shaky voice. 'Say it Kagome, just say it! There won't be any harm in saying it,' a voice yelled in my mind. Oh, but there will be harm, there always will be harm and I knew that.  
  
"Inuyasha," I laid my hands on his chest and gently pushed; he looked taken aback as he rolled to my side and I sat up to face him, sitting on our legs and his hand released my wrist. 'Just bring the matter up. Even if he won't give up a supposed "bridge," it doesn't mean there isn't a chance.' That bridge. The supposed bridge that never gave me assistance in my love life. I never knew metaphors could have such a meaning. Kikyou.  
  
"When you say I own your heart, what do you mean by that?" I glanced at his hand on the ground as it clenched onto the grass, the sigh that escaped through his nose as his eyebrows furrowed.  
  
"What else do you think it would mean, Kagome? That I'm a slave for your amusement? That my heart is for you to control? Or maybe something else?" He was growing frustrated. I knew that he always grew frustrated when he was attempting to voice his feelings but sometimes I could get fed-up with it. And this is one of those times.  
  
I sat ramrod straight in my spot and my eyes must've been blazing. "Well if you don't tell me, how the hell else am I supposed to know what you mean?" I leaned even more forward. "When I'm practically confused and clueless as to why you're always telling me that you will always protect me then throw me around with words, and later run away to catch the priestess from your past? Gods Inuyasha, I'm not a mind reader." No wait . . . I wasn't to blow up on him, I wasn't supposed to blow up on him at all! I winced, annoyed with myself and catching the flash of injury on his face. "Oh heck, I'm sorry . . . It's just that I'm confused and am always wondering what the real reason is that I keep returning here besides that I've made real friends. That the time we've spent together actually means something when it's not even supposed to mean anything at all but nonetheless I feel something. Something more tangible than a hand, or lips on my cheek, and even now I don't know what to do because I'm confused . . . Right down to my bones when I heard you say that I own your heart." The last statement broke in my throat as the dryness of my mouth caught up with me and I smiled sadly. "You see Inuyasha? I'm babbling nonsense and am also making myself and probably you even more confused. I'm sorry . . ."  
  
There was silence in the night and I couldn't bring myself to look directly at him, but when I felt his finger on my chin to make me face him, it was as if it were all in a dream. A small smile lay on his lips and all I could do was stare at him, tears in my eyes. "You know something, Kagome?"  
  
I swallowed in an attempt to clear my throat. "Nani . . .?"  
  
His other hand pulled me closer by the arm and he whispered against my lips, "You talk way too much," and leaned forward, his lips pressed against mine. He was kissing me. Inuyasha was kissing me. At first my eyes widened, then slowly fluttered closed as my unshed tears spilt down my cheeks in his hands where they held to frame my face.  
  
I remember thinking in the back of my mind 'I've never kissed anyone before,' and 'Why haven't I when it feels as incredible as this, especially when it's the person I wanted it to be?' What with the inexperience slowing me down I kissed him back, moving against his lower lip and I nearly flew to pieces when I felt his tongue strive for an opening. And of course I gave it to him, if he wasn't in my heart already.  
  
Bits of memories I shared with him flashed against the blackness of my eyelids, seeing him topple to the ground as I cried 'sit,' his imprisonment again Goshinboku, or when he hugged me for the first time by the Bone Gobbler's well. When he mumbled my name for the first time instead of calling me 'girl'; when he held my hand and looked into my eyes after I returned after seeing him with Kikyou and I had asked if I could stay with him; the time when I talked with him through Goshinboku and he told me he would protect me with all he had. The silly arguments we'd have and some that were meant to end all arguments, which of course they never did, or when he kissed and bandaged up my cut finger with a piece of a handkerchief after I saw Kikyou and before he fought with Menoumaru that day.  
  
After a long moment which felt like an eternity, I leaned away with my eyes still closed and my lips tingling. A breeze blew all around us and I could hear him breathing, his gaze on me and his hand moving to stroke my cheek. "Kagome." His voice was soft and comforting.  
  
I opened my eyes to meet his, leaning into his hand and I smiled, perfectly content even when we didn't finish our initial discussion. "Hai, Inuyasha?"  
  
"You're my love, koishii."  
  
My eyes flew wide open and I looked at him with my mouth slightly gaped. "Huh . . .?"  
  
Inuyasha chuckled, genuinedly amused. "You wanted to know what I meant when I said that you owned my heart, right? I just told you; I love you Kagome. I always will." His hand went from my cheek down to my neck and reached to find the chain that fastened onto the small bottle filled with Shikon shards, holding it in his fingers he said, "Even when these always get between us, or even Kikyou for instance . . . It doesn't and will never change how I feel for you. You want to know the reason why I've never told you this before?" An automatic reaction sent my head to nod even when my shock-paralyzed body remained frozen. "It's because I feared your rejection, that you wouldn't want this," He motioned to himself in general. "Or what I am, either human, a hanyou or a full youkai, I'm still me, the Inuyasha that will always protect you."  
  
I reached up to clasp his hand from the vial of shards and held it against my cheek. "I know that. Didn't I promise to you about two years ago that I would always be by your side whenever you needed me? Even though I don't hold true to that when I return to my time, I'm still with you in spirit, even when I'm dead I'll always watch over you."  
  
His fingers tightened around mine, his eyes growing serious. "Don't say stuff like that; it's unnerving." I chuckled slightly at that before stopping to continue. "I'll return to you, always. Remember that."  
  
And I would hold true to that, no matter what. My heart I would trust in his hands. I only wished the other ties he broke, such as with Kikyou. Helpless, my heart I knew would always feel second best. I didn't know how to love properly and with Inuyasha, I prayed for the strength to never doubt him.  
  
Though at times the strongest and deepest of love can be tested.  
  
*** ::Destruction, Regrets, Goodbyes and Memories:: ~Inuyasha's Heart~  
  
There was a tense silence.  
  
We all watched intently at Miroku's hand and secretly waited for some sort of explosion, implosion, an eruption...anything that would symbolize that destroying Naraku had its effects on the people he had cursed. I had struck him down with my Ba-Ryu-Ha (?) attack and finished him off with Kagome's help. Always with Kagome's help, and I couldn't have ever dream of defeating him without the others. While Miroku had performed an exorcism spell to cast all of the youkai horde out of Naraku/Onigumo using all his reserved mystical powers and whatnot, as Sango and Kirara bashed away at his kugutsu with Hiraikotsu and claws and teeth. Kagome with her Hana no ki (spirit arrows) firing away and one managed to reach his head, I blasted him away with Tetsusaiga, the being that was Naraku was sucked into itself possibly into oblivion.  
  
Everyone sustained some sort of wound or bruise, as I had a deep gash on my right cheek that was already healing and I think my other arm was dislocated; Miroku's neck disaplayed a deep cut from almost getting decapitated from the kugutsu, and Sango had bruises peppering her body. Kagome, with a part of her sleeve slashed and one of her 'socks' torn and portrayed a scrape on her knee from falling. I hated it any time she should get hurt; it made me feel guilty because I had brought her into this whole mess but as she said, she wouldn't leave me and I needed her help anyway, but I didn't mention that.  
  
Nothing was left except for the cracked half of the Shikon no Tama and I had watched Kagome retrieve it from the ground, kneeling wordlessly as she pieced it with her half. A bright glow lit her face and in her hand was the marble that I sought for those many years ago and even served a death sentence for. Now in the moment we looked to the perverted priest and waited as Tetsusaiga returned to its original form in my grip. Sango appeared the most concerned, standing nearest him and holding his cursed hand palm up and searching for anything out of the ordinary. Kagome mentioned a couple times that perhaps the youkai taijiya was falling for the bouzu. Incredulous I thought at first, but that look in Sango's eyes...it indicated what Kagome was trying to tell me the whole time. Sango wasn't afraid to be sucked in with him if it were to happen; she was only afraid of losing him, of being alone all over again.  
  
Deep inside our hearts we knew Kohaku had died the day Sango was supposed to and I think she knows that, and is the reason why her attention currently centers around Miroku, of all people. I was just glad that I didn't have to put the poor kid out of his misery in the finality of it all; it would've been the cruelist thing to mind and I wasn't about to satisfy Naraku's corrupted heart. Nothing happened after several moments and Sango traced shaking fingers over the lines on his palm and the scent of salt lingered from her; she was crying, the tears falling into Miroku's palm before she closed her hand around it. She was...relieved? Sad? Sometimes it was hard to tell with women and with Kagome, it was enough. One moment she would use the subduing spell and in another she would be apologizing up and down. I've learned so far to ignore the feeling of being confused as hell.  
  
"You're free now," Sango was saying and it seemed to me that Miroku was getting overwhelmed. To see Sango smile at him like that with tears in her eyes and clasping his hand without being wary of his ecchi habits, he must've been wondering what happened.  
  
"Yes. Yes I am, as all of us are." Miroku replied, looking up to see the rest of us with Shippou looking curiously on his shoulder. "All our hardships finally come to this point. Sango-san with Kohaku; Kagome-sama with the Shikon no Tama completed and Inuyasha finally able to avenge Kikyou-sama." I sensed his attention shift to Kagome whom I noticed looked away a little.  
  
Sometimes I wanted to choke that stupid bouzu. "Feh...with Naraku gone we all can breathe a little easier." I sheathed Tetsusaiga, groping for the right words. "And...now we're open to our freedom." I feared for Kagome leaving the most as we all returned to Kaede's hut, and Kagome hadn't said a single word and I had watched in the corner of my eye as she circled the jewel along her palm, deep in thought as her opposite hand held the handle of her iron-horse.  
  
Why didn't I know what the future held for all of us? Mostly for both of us, Kagome and me. I had the chance and took advantage of it to tell her how I felt for fear I would lose her, that she wouldn't ever return to me just because our journey was over. True, I had repaid Kikyou the debt I owed those years ago and destroyed her nemesis and now she could go free to the land of the dead, to rest peacefully as she wished before. I had snuck into the forest later on that evening in the setting of the sun to tell of Naraku's defeat, to say goodbye, to make resolutions. But she had asked me whether or not I wanted her to live. I answered honestly; what else could I have done? To lie to her felt like a grievious sin, to reject her would mean that my obligations were broken and I could be with Kagome forever. I told her I wanted her to live, to fix the torn gap in time in which she didn't deserve to die because of me...but I said that nothing can be changed now. Too late and that time was too cruel to give in. It has to be accepted this way and I wanted her to rest in peace.  
  
"The Shikon no Tama, Inuyasha," She had said. "It grants wishes beyond dreams. If you wish for me to live, all you have to do is wish for life inside this shell of earth." She laid a hand on her heart before leaning against me, her body close. "I also want you by my side. Remember Inuyasha, you promised your human life to me before any of this happened. You wanted to share a life of normality, of peace that I offered. If only you became human for me..."  
  
I didn't pull away as I heard her words. Words that stirred my memories of our past and how infatuated I was of her. Now that I've spent my time with Kagome I discovered I was more excited of my feelings that I had never experienced before than anything else. That Kikyou was only the spark that set me loose. But did I want to lose Kikyou now that I could have her? During the two years of hunting for shards had I thought I could make both women happy, Kagome and Kikyou. I discovered their differences; they were very much different from one another like day and night. Now in the present of my time period I saw that I had a decision to make. To Kikyou who was among the first I ever wanted to grow close to, to begin to trust and share memories and emotions with; To Kagome, the one I'm forever grateful for at her determination to fight for me, to shed tears for me...the one who I gave my heart to, my love.  
  
The end was here, I had reached the end of the river. An adventure of memories I would take to my grave and beyond...the greatest tale ever told I had lived. Now was the time to let go, to forget and remember at the same time, to confess. I hugged Kikyou for one last time and I think she sensed that it was goodbye because she began to cry and grasp onto my kimono, whispering my name in choked sobs. Never before had she weeped for me like this, for anyone or for any reason, not even when she was dying did she shed tears.  
  
I pulled her back gently by the shoulders and looked seriously into her eyes one last time. "Kikyou...I think the one thing I've ever wished for the most is happiness. To find recluse from my enemies...and now I think I have. I wished to the gods that I could have made you happy, to turn your cold heart and all its bitterness to something warm and feeling. You can live you know, if you want. I'm giving you a choice; but one thing." I gently wiped away her tears. "I can not give you me because I already belong to someone else. Someone I've grown to love...someone I can live a life of normality and peace but to remain who I am: a hanyou, a half- complete spirit who can't find its way without its other half...and my other half is Kagome."  
  
Her lips trembled, voice shaky. "You've found the happiness you've searched for...with Kagome?" I nodded. I was amazed at her understanding. "So you...replaced me with her?..."  
  
"There was nothing to replace, Kikyou. You were more like my first friend, my first companion and over the years after your death I had moved on, hoping to seek revenge and now that I have, I also found my first love. Don't you understand? You have no replacement. To me you are Kikyou and Kikyou alone. Kagome is a whole other being, person, woman with her own heart. Perhaps her soul is shared as with the past priestesses of different eras, but she is still who I see her as, as I still see you as Kikyou."  
  
For a long moment she didn't say anything, looking off into the distance, the soft glow of her insect youkai hovering all around us and illuminating our faces and the Goshinboku near us. Our meeting place. When she met my eyes I saw her attempting a smile, feeling awkward and weak for it. "Your feelings for me in the past...were they love?"  
  
I hesitated but only for a moment. "I had thought so then...and I suppose it was even for such a short time. But not the kind of love you would have for a lover, no."  
  
"So if I lived...You would have stayed with me?"  
  
I remained truthful with my words and I nodded. "I would have stayed, yes."  
  
Her slender chilled hands reached up and caressed my face, studying every detail and I knew she was trying to take it all into her memory. "Forgive me for being selfish; death seems to make you want what you can't have. If you are truly happy now Inuyasha...I will not interfere. I will go back to my rest but I ask of you one thing." She leaned up and brushed her lips against mine; a goodbye kiss.  
  
I blinked and stood rigid underneath her hands. "Anything."  
  
"Guard my ashes Inuyasha, and my spirit will protect you from any harm if you do this for me." She released me and stepped back, being surrounded by her serpent youkai before being lifted into the air. Such sadness and regret on her face and yet I did nothing. "And perhaps...I will watch over your legacy as well."  
  
"Goodbye...and thank you, Kikyou."  
  
I watched her disappear into the now nightsky and a sense of euphora overwhelmed my senses, a feeling of satisfaction and relief. Without another thought nor word I simply turned on my heel and walked away, the scent of love emanating from outside the forest.  
  
*** ::Hearts Unite, All Is Done:: ~Kagome's Heart~  
  
I was trying to ignore what the little youkai sprite that was sitting above me was telling me as I began to ready my bike outside the hut, trying to repair the pedal that I broke during the journey. "He was saying goodbye to her I think...she was crying and---"  
  
"Shippou-chan," I said slowly and he froze on the bicycle seat. "Inuyasha's business is not mine, it's Inuyasha's. So if you will please be quiet, I would appreciate it very much, okay?" He nodded vigorously and I returned to my task, the sun's light ebating and I was fully dependent of the moon's glow, full and round just opposite the direction in which the sun had disappeared.  
  
So he was saying goodbye; I didn't stick around long enough to know what that kiss was about. He would have to tell her goodbye sometime unless he changed his mind which I dreaded he would. But I had more faith in him than that; I wasn't that type of person to be as selfish as to despise someone from his past. Somewhere deep in my heart I felt sorry for Kikyou and her situation, and he had already told me he loved me. Inuyasha said he loved me.  
  
What then, was taking him so god-awfully long?  
  
I heard Shippou whimper and scurry down and crawl up underneath my hair as I heard footsteps coming from the woods. I turned and saw Inuyasha emerging from the shadows, a bland expression on his face. He stopped for a moment in his way toward me, just a dozen meters of dirt road separating us, eyes bright in the light of the young moon. Something hinted at Shippou to break for it, popping up and running away toward Kaede's home.  
  
Now we were alone as I knelt there beside my bike and he stood looking down at me before resuming his pace. For a moment I thought he was only going to brush past me and as soon as I let my guard down, he had come from behind and reached for my waist to pull me up and turning me, he held me close to look up at him. I feared for the worst and for once, I wish I had telepathic powers. What was he thinking? What had happened between him and Kikyou in the forest? I held back questions; I didn't want him to know I knew about their meeting.  
  
His breath brushed against my forehead, swaying aside my bangs as he held me stationary by the waist. Within a tense silence I managed to look downward at the prayer beads centered at the base of his neck. One of his hands came up and swept aside a stray lock of raven hair from my cheek; such a simple gesture but it sent shiver down my side, my knees buckled and I placed my hands on his chest for support. 'What happened? What did Kikyou say to you? What did you say to Kikyou?' ::It doesn't and will never change how I feel for you::  
  
I begged silently that he was speaking the truth, just like when he said he would try to give me everything I need. I need you most of all, Inuyasha...  
  
I inhaled his scent and tried to imprint it into memory and I felt the soft brush of his white hair strands from the locks on either side of his face. Curiosity made me bolder and my fingers traced the outline of his chin, cheek and his lips as though I were drawing it in the sand. They moved and he spoke, voice quiet in a whisper. "Kagome." I swallowed, my fingers suddenly pulling away and I nodded my recognition, still silent. "Have you decided?"  
  
My brow furrowed, gazing upwards and meetings his glowing eyes that only held affection for me. "Decided?"  
  
He nodded, a hand tracing a fine line up my spine. "Stay...? With me. I...want you to stay with me, Kagome."  
  
I had no idea what made tears rise in my eyes and as I blinked, they fell into his kimono and darkened the spots they landed on. Happy. That's what I was. Happiness I've found with him; I hope he knew that. "I would have stayed even if...you hadn't asked me to." I finished with a soft sob as he pulled me against him, laying me against his chest, embracing me tightly and never let go for the longest time. I listened to his heart beat, strong just as he was and I wondered if it was because of me. Whence he did I simply smiled up at him, and mouthed "I love you" with the sweetest of whispers, as we shared a passionate kiss under the light of the full moon.  
  
To think I was so afraid that he would demand for the jewel for his possession. No, I realized I was wrong. The only jewel he wanted was my heart...it wasn't as if I hadn't already given it to him anyways.  
  
::My Love, My Heart, My Life:: --Five and a half years later--  
  
"All right, all right! Please don't tickle me---Yaaaiiii!!! Kaa-chan! KAA- CHAN!!"  
  
Giggles echoed in the air as Inuyasha's furry white ear twitched and focused at the happy sound, a slight smile curling his lips as he remained on his task of sweeping the well house from the modern side. On the sparse grass outside the fencing of Goshinboku underneath its shade was a blanket spread upon it, and twenty-two year old Kagome wrestled her five year old son Ryu. Though Kagome may be twenty-two years of age she had only the appearance an eighteen year old would have, the effects of handling the purity of the Shikon no Tama over the years. They had started to notice it a few year back as her appearance hardly changed as only her hair grew longer and she grew more into full adulthood and seemed to have grown immune to the effects of time. As for the jewel, it had been kept at the Sunset Shrine ever since, where it had meant to be in the first place as they guarded it.  
  
Neither Kagome nor Inuyasha had made a move as to use it for anything other than Inuyasha's transformations. They both grew to love one another and to hold close, cherish each other and later married not long after the final search ended. When Kagome was with-child, Inuyasha suggested they stay in her world to be able to escape any youkai during her pregnancy. While Kagome was off to university even in those nine months, Inuyasha attended with her and aided her by her side as he was her husband, and stayed with her at the hospital when she gave birth. They took care of their son together as Kagome finished college early, able to stay home and not having to worry about their assets due to her inheritance from her father. Kagome's mother helped as well and babysitting when the couple needed alone time, and they still were very much in love just as they were in the beginning of their marriage. Kaede was the one who watched over Ryu on the opposite side of time and even enjoyed conversing with Jii-chan, Kagome's grandfather about spells, incantations and things. Kagome just knew they would get along well.  
  
Now Inuyasha had what he wished for the most. Happiness with the ones he loved, a family, a life balanced with normality where he didn't have to strive to survive. Later that day as Kagome was ironing some clothes in the family room in the house he had built back in Sengoku Jidai, as he could see Ryu playing outside with Sango and Miroku's own little girl named Hana and still-infant Shippou, he came up from behind Kagome and hugged her around the waist, simultaneously turning off the iron and standing it upright on the board. "What are you doing?" Kagome looked quizzically at him over her shoulder, humor brightening her beautiful features. "How am I supposed to get any work done if all you're good for is to distract me, hm?" He received giggles from her when he nuzzled the curve her neck.  
  
"Hm? Hm?" He mimicked her tone, gently nipping the same area. His voice grew quiet and he whispered into her ear. "You're happy, ne, koi?"  
  
Kagome smiled soundly, leaning even more into him as she intwined her fingers with his around her waist. "More than I could ever hope to be. I love you, Inuyasha..." She turned her head and met his lips, kissing him with all she had in her heart.  
  
"I...love you more," He chuckled when she recognized the familiar game he was playing and she nudged him away only to take his hand.  
  
"Come on, let's go join the fun shall we?" She pulled him toward the open door and before they reached the children she brushed against his ear. "By the way...I love you more." Hana squealed and ran behind Inuyasha when Ryu went after her in the game of tag as Shippou jumped to Kagome, hiding once again in her hair like he always did. He most of all hardly changed.  
  
"Inuyasha?" Kagome later whispered to him that night.  
  
He turned under the covers and wrapped his arms around her. "What?"  
  
"Are you happy?"  
  
Inuyasha didn't answer for a few moments and shifted his weight so that he was above her, looking into her eyes in the darkness. "More than I could ever hope to be. Because my heart...belongs to you."  
  
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O W A R I ~ T H E E N D 


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